She Was ...

She was the one that was supposed to be,
and she was for a while.
She was strong and bold, and smart,
she told me that i could dream any dream and make it come true
i believed her, i believed you...
I had my faults, but thought you would stay through them
I thought you would fight for me, for us, but you didnt.
you quietly walked away....but i'm not mad...only sad
sad at what could have been, what should have been...
and still so very hopeful that what could have been, what should have been
will be
...in the meantime, i keep taking my steps forward and on occasion, yes i do look back...
because to keep looking ahead hurts way more than i care to experience...or maybe i'm backwards and
im looking back to keep myself from forgetting the love that i had that made me feel so so alive.

i dont know, but i do know she was supposed to be .... and now she's not...

Smile

I smile each day. 

Even though there is a part of me that is hurting ... I smile. 
I think of you and smile and while a tear falls from my eye ... i smile.
My heart feels like its missing a piece, you stole a part of me and yet ... i smile.
I remember you telling me you wanted to stand in the fire with me, but you're gone
you told me that you wouldnt leave, you werent going anywhere, but you're gone.
AND even in that knowing ... i smile.

I smile because YOU have inspired me to be an amazing woman, i smile because you believed in me, i smile because you KNEW me and i didnt have to tell you much about me or what i liked or who i was...YOU

SAW

ME

and now you're gone, and I still smile.

Growth

New times, new beginnings, fresh start....

When change needs to happen in your life and you arent doing it for yourself...the Universe takes care of it for you.  It might be a huge shift that disrupts your life.  During that time if you are going through pain...take your time to heal, cry when you need to, write, be alone, be still, be with friends, seek therapy if you need it, but do not, do not try to rush your healing.  Things will fall into place!  They will...have faith and trust that the Universe is working in the background of your life.  Smell the roses and be grateful they exist...everything will be ok. 

Today I'm smelling the roses and feeling blessed that I can.

Marianne Williamson - Enchanted Love

Listened to Marianne's radio show...really got some clarity...*sigh*

Photography

In the last few days i've learned a whole lot of things about my camera.  Now i need some subjects to shoot.  I want to have my kids and grandkids at the beach and shoot them.  This is what i'm doing...photography. 

Vision

My vision for today (and everyday) is that i'm earning $1 million a year.  EARNING..it...i'll be taking trips, creating my own schedule and working while on the trips, doing the thing i love.  It wont feel like work.  I'm in the best shape of my life.  Certainly, if people can lose hundreds of pounds i can lose 10 and tone up from that.  i'm blessed and i  know it.  i'm grateful for all the things and lessons i've learned in my life and look forward to all new blessings coming to me now.

Intention update 2011

Dear God &Spiritual Team, I ask that you provide my List of Intentions for my highest good:

Thank you for the opportunityof the entrepreneurial opportunity.

I'm so happy that it is not stressful, but fun, and i dont feel like its a 9 - 5 mentality, I am creating my own hours and destiny, i'm out and about and not stuck behind a desk and can charge an amount and feel good about it because i am worth it.

Thank you for the many growth opportunities you have provided. Continue to send me learning opportunites and i remain happy and grateful!

Thank you for the gift of photography, and that it is bringing me abundance, financial relief and freedom!

Thank you for reinventing my blog that I know will touch many people and allow me to be a teacher to someone. It helps me as well to learn so much so that they too will feel the joy and peace i know.

For the gift of clarity and clear intuition. For the new friends i've recently met that help me on this path!

I create my to do list and am able to take care of those things.

That i am receiving money for all necessary expenditures.

Money flows easily to me.

I am able to remodel my home.

Thank you for the loving, supportive relationship that supports me in ALL areas of my life and is fully accepting of who I am.

I am able to attend any and all workshops, networking and coaching events without worrying about the cost.

I am able to provide the structure and discipline Jalen needs for these next 3 years in high school.
That love continues to surround me and my family.

Eating healthy and providing healthy clean food for my family is an easy task for me.

i am healthy inside and out, and my body reflects the changes that come from workouts on a consistent basis.

I thank you for rain of blessings that are showering down upon us!!

Sweetpea Lilbutt...OUT *wink*