A Long Day

It's been a long day
have you felt the same things I have
Its been a long day
are you wondering if i am wondering too
Baby, its really been a LONG day
A day without you, your love, your laughter
A day without hearing you smile
Baby its been a long day
Can we make tomorrow not so long?

My dedication to you

I miss your hands
they way they touch my face
the way they hold my neck
sometimes hard/sometimes rough
mostly full of love
I miss your lips
the way they feel when you kiss me
on my lips/my face/my cheeks
the way the look when you chew
so brown, so beautiful
even how they look when they are frowning because you're upset with me
I miss your words, oh my love, your words
the ones that turn into questions that might drive me crazy
the words that i might complain about
the ones that tell me how much you love me
baby, i miss your words
i miss the way you lay your body on mine
the way you caress me
I miss the love we made to our music
our love story
Cookie...I am missing you.

FRIDAY

It's Friday and I'm in love. What does that have to do with Friday? mmm, nothing really, but I just wanted to say it. On my way to my lil guy's game, have a full tummy & for the most part things are good. Life is a blessing and all things that happen are blessings as well. Even when it seems they are not.

Fear, something I need to think about. How it affects my life and my reactions to it? How it affects my relationships, new ones and how it affected old ones. I'm so blessed that I have someone who is willing to work with me through all of this. Thank you cookie.

Have I truly given all of me....
what does that mean

Down Ass Chick

We were talking about the situation from last night...."If she ever came to your house when I was there I would leave." HUH? My mind was sort of surprised, and my heart took a hit. Why would she leave? I say that my feelings are hurt, but she has to run into a meeting, so our conversation is postponed. The rest of the day is pretty good, but as I drive home we come back to it. I say again that my feelings are hurt, and she can't seem to understand why they would be hurt. "I would make sure you're safe first, of course." So what, the point to me is that you would leave. I guess the question that you asked of me I will now ask of you....Do YOU love me as if you're life depended on it? Are you ride or die? Do I have me a down ass chick on my team? Well, doc, do I?

What would you say?

If I told you I love you?
If I said you were my knight?
You were the one that I see on my porch,
day after day, night after night
What would you say?
Cookie, please tell me....
Would you say you love me too?
That I was your queen?
that you want to be the one that sits on my porch,
in my backyard, and anything in between.
What, please tell me, would you say?
If I shared my whole world with you,
My thoughts, my dreams, my fears,
Gave you everything in my world,
What would you say?
Would you say I love your thoughts,
here are mine too,
that you dream similar dreams,
or that you're here to calm my fears,
put them to rest and make sure they disappear.
I don't know what you would say
But its all ok. I do love you and I know you love me too.
So here's what I say.....
I will share my dreams, thoughts and fears,
I love you, my sweet dear, sweet knight...
and in all this vulnerable openess that I give to you...
I will say that this is my poem to you.

When will she get it?

So I've had this ongoing saga with my ex. I've requested a very specific form of communication with her and she continues to disregard my request. Today was no exception, however, I guess the good thing that came out of it was that Ihave my things. I'm hopeful this is the end of that saga. Its been far too long and not just for me. I'm doing some different things now as is she. At one time I'm sure we were both hanging on to the past, but no more. It was unhealthy for both of us. So.....When will she get it?

Just another day

It started the other day when I wrote a lil something to my new girlfriend. “Diana, that was beautiful!” “You could be a writer!” “Are you kidding” is what I thought. I think I may have even said it. I certainly don’t believe I’m creative, but going back over that and some of the things I have written, I thought, “Why can’t I be a writer?” What makes me not creative? My thoughts?
So it brings me here….to a space where I’ll try it out and see what happens….Maybe something, maybe nothing. What do I have to lose? Nothing….except expressing my thoughts on paper and seeing where it takes me.
So it's Monday and I’m at work….did a colon cleanse over the last three days. Yesterday I was feeling sick, and decided I’m done. I really wanted to complete the five days I originally started out with, but after day three and hearing from the doc, I changed my mind. When your body talks you should listen and that is what I did. Did I give up on my commitment? What does that say about me and commitment? What does that say about my word? I don’t know, but since I’m asking the questions maybe I have some feelings about it. So I’ve eaten some things today and now I’m feeling bloated, ugh. Does this feeling ever go away?